1 00:00:09,206 --> 00:00:10,655 - Previously on "The Ms. Pat Show"... 2 00:00:10,724 --> 00:00:11,965 My agent called to tell me 3 00:00:12,034 --> 00:00:15,620 I'm going on tour with Tony Free. 4 00:00:15,689 --> 00:00:16,689 - You're pregnant. 5 00:00:16,758 --> 00:00:18,000 - What you say? 6 00:00:18,068 --> 00:00:19,551 - Pat, you can't be pregnant. 7 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:20,827 Your tubes are tied. 8 00:00:20,896 --> 00:00:21,896 - But I'm not going to keep it. 9 00:00:21,965 --> 00:00:22,965 I'm getting an abortion. 10 00:00:23,034 --> 00:00:25,758 - I want us to have this baby. 11 00:00:25,827 --> 00:00:30,655 That procedure goes against everything I believe in. 12 00:00:30,724 --> 00:00:32,448 - It's my decision, Terry. 13 00:00:32,517 --> 00:00:33,620 This is my pussy. 14 00:00:33,689 --> 00:00:36,551 - I cannot support this abortion. 15 00:00:36,620 --> 00:00:37,862 - It's too late. 16 00:00:37,931 --> 00:00:39,620 - What do you mean? 17 00:00:39,689 --> 00:00:41,931 - I did it this morning. 18 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:43,655 - What? 19 00:00:43,724 --> 00:00:44,862 Why would you do that? 20 00:00:44,931 --> 00:00:46,620 - 'Cause this is my body. 21 00:00:46,689 --> 00:00:49,482 - And you are my wife. 22 00:00:49,551 --> 00:00:52,379 - You don't fucking own me, Terry. 23 00:00:52,448 --> 00:00:54,068 - Who the hell you think you're talking to like that, huh? 24 00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:55,655 You can't just take that away from me 25 00:00:55,724 --> 00:00:56,896 without me being there. 26 00:00:56,965 --> 00:00:58,103 That's my damn child. 27 00:00:58,172 --> 00:01:00,034 That is my child, Pat. 28 00:01:00,103 --> 00:01:02,137 - It ain't nobody's now. 29 00:01:02,206 --> 00:01:03,862 [clattering] 30 00:01:03,931 --> 00:01:06,103 Oh, this where we at now? 31 00:01:06,172 --> 00:01:08,241 Fucking hands off me. 32 00:01:10,034 --> 00:01:12,137 [bang] 33 00:01:13,517 --> 00:01:15,137 - The Ms. Pat Show was filmed 34 00:01:15,206 --> 00:01:16,793 in front of a live studio audience. 35 00:01:16,862 --> 00:01:19,758 [cheers and applause] 36 00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,517 - Look, y'all, I ain't never lied to you, 37 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,103 and I ain't gonna lie to you today. 38 00:01:27,172 --> 00:01:29,241 I don't even want to be here, OK? 39 00:01:29,310 --> 00:01:32,931 But since you pressed play, here we go. 40 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:35,517 Being married is hard. 41 00:01:35,586 --> 00:01:38,724 Some days that shit is like getting a root canal 42 00:01:38,793 --> 00:01:41,551 butt-ass naked with no novocaine. 43 00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:45,103 And some days the shit is just hell. 44 00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:46,758 OK? 45 00:01:46,827 --> 00:01:49,482 But we all know it's two sides to the bullshit, right? 46 00:01:49,551 --> 00:01:51,413 "We just hold on and get over it." 47 00:01:51,482 --> 00:01:52,896 That's what they say. 48 00:01:52,965 --> 00:01:54,965 But what if we don't? 49 00:01:55,034 --> 00:01:57,413 If you watching this and you engaged to be married 50 00:01:57,482 --> 00:01:59,275 and that nigga sitting next to you, girl, 51 00:01:59,344 --> 00:02:01,827 take off that ring and run, bitch, run. 52 00:02:01,896 --> 00:02:04,482 [cheers and applause] 53 00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:08,724 - We regret to inform you that your husband, 54 00:02:08,793 --> 00:02:11,103 James Evans, was-- 55 00:02:11,172 --> 00:02:13,965 [upbeat music] 56 00:02:14,034 --> 00:02:15,551 Killed in an automo-- 57 00:02:15,620 --> 00:02:17,379 - My God. 58 00:02:22,689 --> 00:02:25,724 - [crying] Man, why they had to do James like that, man? 59 00:02:25,793 --> 00:02:28,103 - He really was the best Black TV dad ever. 60 00:02:28,172 --> 00:02:29,586 - Well, he ain't got nothing on Daddy. 61 00:02:29,655 --> 00:02:32,068 - I can't believe he's been gone since Tuesday. 62 00:02:32,137 --> 00:02:33,310 I want him back. 63 00:02:33,379 --> 00:02:35,620 - I know. Hey. 64 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:38,310 What if Mama replaces him with a light-skinned daddy? 65 00:02:38,379 --> 00:02:40,275 I mean, they always do that on TV. 66 00:02:42,068 --> 00:02:45,103 Some strange butterscotch man all up in my kitchen. 67 00:02:46,448 --> 00:02:48,620 Eating up all my cereal. 68 00:02:48,689 --> 00:02:50,758 - Nobody's replacing nobody with nobody. 69 00:02:50,827 --> 00:02:52,068 Dad will be back. 70 00:02:52,137 --> 00:02:53,068 - Damn! 71 00:02:53,137 --> 00:02:54,689 - What? 72 00:02:54,758 --> 00:02:56,517 - Well, it's just that-- 73 00:02:56,586 --> 00:02:58,689 I mean, this is new to us. 74 00:02:58,758 --> 00:03:02,310 Our dad's never left home before, and... 75 00:03:04,620 --> 00:03:07,655 Just occurred to me that this must be 76 00:03:07,724 --> 00:03:09,758 how you guys feel every day of your life. 77 00:03:11,931 --> 00:03:13,241 - Get your hands off me. 78 00:03:13,310 --> 00:03:14,655 - Thanks for that trigger, Junebug. 79 00:03:14,724 --> 00:03:16,724 Get off me. 80 00:03:16,793 --> 00:03:18,068 - Look. 81 00:03:18,137 --> 00:03:20,275 I heard Mama said some pretty nasty things. 82 00:03:20,344 --> 00:03:22,448 - Well, I heard he grabbed her. 83 00:03:22,517 --> 00:03:24,689 - OK, where are you guys hearing all this gossip from? 84 00:03:24,758 --> 00:03:27,068 BOTH: Denise. 85 00:03:27,137 --> 00:03:28,551 - Well, I'm on Mama's side. 86 00:03:28,620 --> 00:03:30,310 'Cause like I've been saying, what to do with that baby 87 00:03:30,379 --> 00:03:32,275 was her decision and hers alone. 88 00:03:32,344 --> 00:03:34,172 - Hers alone? 89 00:03:34,241 --> 00:03:35,689 Ash, they are married, OK? 90 00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:37,137 Once you put on that ring, every decision 91 00:03:37,206 --> 00:03:38,758 becomes a couple thing. 92 00:03:38,827 --> 00:03:40,310 - OK, Kevin Samuels. 93 00:03:40,379 --> 00:03:41,689 - I'm just saying. 94 00:03:41,758 --> 00:03:43,137 If the pregnancy test turned pink, 95 00:03:43,206 --> 00:03:44,310 you better ask what the daddy thinks. 96 00:03:44,379 --> 00:03:46,724 - Please stop. 97 00:03:46,793 --> 00:03:51,206 - Brandon does have a point for once in his life. 98 00:03:51,275 --> 00:03:52,965 Look, I for one, think it would have been 99 00:03:53,034 --> 00:03:54,103 cool to have a little brother. 100 00:03:54,172 --> 00:03:55,689 - [scoffs] I got one. 101 00:03:55,758 --> 00:03:58,172 Trust me, it ain't that cool. 102 00:04:00,172 --> 00:04:02,655 - Hey, y'all. 103 00:04:02,724 --> 00:04:08,965 I, um, guess I owe you an explanation to-- 104 00:04:09,034 --> 00:04:10,620 to where I've been, huh? 105 00:04:10,689 --> 00:04:12,206 - It's all right, Pops. 106 00:04:12,275 --> 00:04:13,862 We just glad you ain't light-skinned. 107 00:04:17,275 --> 00:04:19,103 - I just needed some air, son. 108 00:04:19,172 --> 00:04:23,241 - Where the hell have you been to get 48 hours' worth of air? 109 00:04:25,034 --> 00:04:28,137 - Hey, uh, y'all want to watch "Good Times" with us? 110 00:04:28,206 --> 00:04:30,931 The daddy just died. 111 00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:33,827 - No, I think your daddy got something to say, 112 00:04:33,896 --> 00:04:35,482 like an apology. 113 00:04:43,620 --> 00:04:45,896 Brandon, look like you got yourself a roommate. 114 00:04:47,413 --> 00:04:48,689 -Hey, Pat, listen. 115 00:04:48,758 --> 00:04:50,586 Now, we need to-- 116 00:04:50,655 --> 00:04:52,586 - Wait, who the roommate? 117 00:04:53,896 --> 00:04:56,655 I need to know if my rent going down. 118 00:04:56,724 --> 00:04:58,862 - ♪ Come on, it's time to go ♪ 119 00:04:58,931 --> 00:05:01,689 ♪ It's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪ 120 00:05:03,448 --> 00:05:05,137 - I know damn well you ain't going back 121 00:05:05,206 --> 00:05:06,448 to that bitch that look like 122 00:05:06,517 --> 00:05:08,034 the Michael Jackson version of Snoop Dogg. 123 00:05:08,103 --> 00:05:09,379 - Mama, don't-- 124 00:05:09,448 --> 00:05:11,586 wait, she kind of did, though. 125 00:05:11,655 --> 00:05:13,689 But, no, I'm not going back to her. 126 00:05:13,758 --> 00:05:15,517 I don't need to be cheated on anymore. 127 00:05:15,586 --> 00:05:18,655 - Good, because I would hate to have to stab a bitch. 128 00:05:18,724 --> 00:05:21,206 You know I actually wanted to stab that bitch, right? 129 00:05:21,275 --> 00:05:23,620 - I know. You tried. 130 00:05:23,689 --> 00:05:25,931 I did decide I'm not going back to Chicago. 131 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,827 - What that mean? - I'm staying here. 132 00:05:27,896 --> 00:05:29,482 - Y'all kids ever going to leave the house? 133 00:05:29,551 --> 00:05:31,413 Am I not mean enough? 134 00:05:31,482 --> 00:05:33,206 - I'm not staying here here. 135 00:05:33,275 --> 00:05:35,172 I signed a lease for an apartment nearby. 136 00:05:35,241 --> 00:05:36,758 - What? You moving to Plainfield? 137 00:05:36,827 --> 00:05:39,068 - Mm, Plainfield is a little too plain for me. 138 00:05:39,137 --> 00:05:40,827 I'm in the ministry of melanin. 139 00:05:40,896 --> 00:05:43,379 I got a place in Indianapolis 20 minutes away. 140 00:05:43,448 --> 00:05:45,137 - Oh! Well, don't get killed. 141 00:05:45,206 --> 00:05:46,344 - [scoffs] 142 00:05:46,413 --> 00:05:47,896 - But, hey, I'm happy for you, baby. 143 00:05:47,965 --> 00:05:49,620 And that's the best news I've heard 144 00:05:49,689 --> 00:05:51,896 since the abortion doctor said, "I'm done." 145 00:05:51,965 --> 00:05:54,068 - And that's another reason why I need to leave this house. 146 00:05:54,137 --> 00:05:57,793 You and Daddy are fighting like Israel and Palestine. 147 00:05:57,862 --> 00:05:59,344 - Child, me and your daddy's not fighting. 148 00:05:59,413 --> 00:06:01,827 I just want that man to stay the hell away from me, OK? 149 00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:03,517 - Don't act like you don't care. 150 00:06:03,586 --> 00:06:04,965 I saw how worried you got when he didn't come home. 151 00:06:05,034 --> 00:06:06,586 - I just wanted to make sure I could 152 00:06:06,655 --> 00:06:09,310 cash in his insurance policy. 153 00:06:09,379 --> 00:06:10,896 - You two need to kiss and make up. 154 00:06:10,965 --> 00:06:12,758 - Kissing is how we got here, child. 155 00:06:12,827 --> 00:06:14,344 - Ew. 156 00:06:14,413 --> 00:06:16,206 All I'm saying is, I've never seen y'all fight like this. 157 00:06:16,275 --> 00:06:18,310 And I don't think it's wise to go out on that comedy tour 158 00:06:18,379 --> 00:06:20,034 until everything is resolved. 159 00:06:20,103 --> 00:06:21,689 - Girl, let me tell you something. 160 00:06:21,758 --> 00:06:23,551 That's the best part about this comedy tour, 161 00:06:23,620 --> 00:06:26,068 'cause me and that man need some time apart. 162 00:06:26,137 --> 00:06:28,172 - Not talking has never helped anything, Ma. 163 00:06:28,241 --> 00:06:29,931 - It's helping now. Just watch. 164 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,241 - Mama. 165 00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:33,758 - Child, shut up, I'm healing. 166 00:06:38,551 --> 00:06:41,724 - Are you two finally going to start talking to each other? 167 00:06:43,482 --> 00:06:46,137 [cell phone buzzing] 168 00:06:50,241 --> 00:06:51,827 [loud thud] 169 00:06:53,551 --> 00:06:55,379 Guess not. 170 00:06:57,482 --> 00:07:00,275 - Hey, here you go, Junebug. 171 00:07:00,344 --> 00:07:02,586 Pancakes. 172 00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,137 - I don't like pancakes. 173 00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:06,620 - Men don't get an opinion in this house. 174 00:07:10,689 --> 00:07:12,551 [phone buzzes] 175 00:07:13,896 --> 00:07:16,206 What does "Duck you" mean? 176 00:07:17,413 --> 00:07:18,793 - It's probably autocorrect. 177 00:07:18,862 --> 00:07:21,275 - No, it mean, "Duck, motherfucker!" 178 00:07:21,344 --> 00:07:22,965 [shattering] 179 00:07:24,448 --> 00:07:26,034 - Don't make me throw a flapjack! 180 00:07:26,103 --> 00:07:28,103 - Well, let's break breakfast then, nigga. 181 00:07:30,034 --> 00:07:31,413 - Can you stop? 182 00:07:31,482 --> 00:07:33,068 You know, Mrs. Butterworth is too old 183 00:07:33,137 --> 00:07:36,000 to be busting it open in our living room like this. 184 00:07:37,931 --> 00:07:40,586 - And I'm too old to be busting it open to have new babies. 185 00:07:40,655 --> 00:07:42,586 Tell your daddy that. 186 00:07:42,655 --> 00:07:45,068 - Dad, Ma said she-- - I heard her. 187 00:07:45,137 --> 00:07:46,827 - You can also tell your dad I'm too busy 188 00:07:46,896 --> 00:07:49,103 trying to make it with my comedy career to have a baby. 189 00:07:49,172 --> 00:07:52,103 He won't be whining when we get rich. 190 00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:54,172 - Janelle, please tell your mama 191 00:07:54,241 --> 00:07:57,448 I'm so sorry to whine about her betraying 192 00:07:57,517 --> 00:07:59,655 every religious belief I have. 193 00:07:59,724 --> 00:08:02,137 My bad. - Jesus Christ! 194 00:08:02,206 --> 00:08:03,724 - Janelle, would you please tell your mama 195 00:08:03,793 --> 00:08:05,275 to keep His name out her mouth? 196 00:08:05,344 --> 00:08:07,448 Don't think he'd be too happy with what she did. 197 00:08:07,517 --> 00:08:10,965 - Jesus too busy worrying about poverty and wars in this world 198 00:08:11,034 --> 00:08:13,034 to be worried about my damn pootie tang! 199 00:08:13,103 --> 00:08:15,137 - Can y'all please stop arguing? 200 00:08:15,206 --> 00:08:18,724 I feel like I'm watching the Zeus network. 201 00:08:18,793 --> 00:08:20,206 - Junebug is right. 202 00:08:20,275 --> 00:08:22,724 Can y'all stop fighting for two seconds? 203 00:08:22,793 --> 00:08:25,310 I have some good news. 204 00:08:25,379 --> 00:08:26,586 - What's your good news, girl? 205 00:08:26,655 --> 00:08:28,551 And we're not fighting. - Yes, we are. 206 00:08:28,620 --> 00:08:30,379 - Tell your daddy we're not fighting! 207 00:08:30,448 --> 00:08:31,862 - Mama said y'all not. 208 00:08:31,931 --> 00:08:33,724 - Tell your mama I said we are. 209 00:08:33,793 --> 00:08:35,689 - Daddy said y'all are. 210 00:08:35,758 --> 00:08:37,344 - Tell that man-- 211 00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:38,551 - Please just stop. 212 00:08:38,620 --> 00:08:40,275 - Janelle says stop. 213 00:08:40,344 --> 00:08:41,517 - Well, you can tell Janelle-- 214 00:08:41,586 --> 00:08:43,206 - Enough! 215 00:08:43,275 --> 00:08:45,724 - OK, old loud-ass girl. 216 00:08:45,793 --> 00:08:47,517 - Wait a minute. Go on, baby. 217 00:08:47,586 --> 00:08:49,931 I could use some good news. 218 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:55,827 - Well, I applied for a $20,000 Tubman scholarship, 219 00:08:55,896 --> 00:08:57,655 and I'm a finalist. 220 00:08:57,724 --> 00:09:00,551 And one of the reps is in town, 221 00:09:00,620 --> 00:09:02,344 and he wants to come over for dinner. 222 00:09:02,413 --> 00:09:04,931 - This is incredible, Janelle. 223 00:09:08,482 --> 00:09:10,620 - Wow, $20,000? 224 00:09:10,689 --> 00:09:13,551 I know my baby gonna win. 225 00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,344 - That's a lot of faith. 226 00:09:19,758 --> 00:09:21,482 - Support your family. 227 00:09:21,551 --> 00:09:23,000 When is he coming over, baby? 228 00:09:23,068 --> 00:09:24,448 - He wants to come over tonight. 229 00:09:24,517 --> 00:09:25,620 - Tonight? 230 00:09:25,689 --> 00:09:27,241 It's not a good time. 231 00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:28,689 Can he reschedule? 232 00:09:28,758 --> 00:09:29,689 - She already said he's out of town, Pat. 233 00:09:29,758 --> 00:09:31,000 We got to make it work. 234 00:09:31,068 --> 00:09:32,275 - Yeah, but this is a big deal. 235 00:09:32,344 --> 00:09:34,275 We should make it special and not rush it. 236 00:09:34,344 --> 00:09:36,517 - It's only going to be a mess if you make it a mess. 237 00:09:36,586 --> 00:09:37,551 - You already made it, 238 00:09:37,620 --> 00:09:39,206 - OK, OK, look. 239 00:09:39,275 --> 00:09:43,137 My whole application essay is about my amazing family-- 240 00:09:43,206 --> 00:09:44,689 minus Junebug-- 241 00:09:44,758 --> 00:09:47,517 and how much you two love each other. 242 00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:51,551 So I need you to pretend that is true for one night, OK? 243 00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:54,379 - Do I look like a Black-ass Meryl Streep? 244 00:09:54,448 --> 00:09:57,896 - Look, baby, we promise on your big night 245 00:09:57,965 --> 00:10:00,793 we will abort this conversation. 246 00:10:00,862 --> 00:10:02,137 - You see that? 247 00:10:02,206 --> 00:10:03,551 - Ma. 248 00:10:03,620 --> 00:10:05,896 - OK. I'll stop talking shit. 249 00:10:07,724 --> 00:10:09,793 [cellphone buzzing] 250 00:10:11,586 --> 00:10:14,413 - My face can not fit in my ass, Pat. 251 00:10:14,482 --> 00:10:16,206 You know that. 252 00:10:16,275 --> 00:10:17,620 - Ma, you promised. 253 00:10:17,689 --> 00:10:19,965 - Texting ain't talking. 254 00:10:20,034 --> 00:10:22,620 - Can you please act like an adult for one second? 255 00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,793 I should not have to be the parent here. 256 00:10:24,862 --> 00:10:26,482 - All right, baby. You know what, I'll fix it. 257 00:10:26,551 --> 00:10:27,655 Don't worry about it, all right? 258 00:10:27,724 --> 00:10:29,344 I'm just going to block her number. 259 00:10:29,413 --> 00:10:31,241 - Good. - Yeah. 260 00:10:32,586 --> 00:10:35,206 [cellphone chiming] 261 00:10:37,172 --> 00:10:38,241 - Dad. 262 00:10:38,310 --> 00:10:39,758 - Yeah? 263 00:10:41,068 --> 00:10:43,103 - Can you come here real quick? 264 00:10:48,931 --> 00:10:51,068 Mama wanted me to show you this. 265 00:10:52,758 --> 00:10:55,827 - You spelled "dickhead" wrong. 266 00:10:55,896 --> 00:10:56,931 - I'm so sorry. 267 00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,965 I meant to spell it T-E-R-R-Y. 268 00:11:01,448 --> 00:11:03,206 - That's your name, Dad. 269 00:11:06,206 --> 00:11:08,413 - What the--hey, hey, hey, hold on now. 270 00:11:08,482 --> 00:11:11,620 Where you think you're going with my suitcases? 271 00:11:11,689 --> 00:11:13,482 - On tour with Pat. 272 00:11:13,551 --> 00:11:14,758 Where you been? 273 00:11:14,827 --> 00:11:17,103 Oh, yeah. Gone. 274 00:11:17,172 --> 00:11:19,689 Your wife made me her assistant on tour. 275 00:11:19,758 --> 00:11:20,965 - That's nice. Have fun on the road, 276 00:11:21,034 --> 00:11:22,896 but my suitcases stay in my garage. 277 00:11:22,965 --> 00:11:24,068 - Well, that ain't what Pat said. 278 00:11:24,137 --> 00:11:25,482 - Is that right? What did Pat say? 279 00:11:25,551 --> 00:11:27,620 - She said I can have it. Bye. 280 00:11:27,689 --> 00:11:29,344 - Her body, her choice. 281 00:11:29,413 --> 00:11:30,896 My suitcase, my choice! 282 00:11:30,965 --> 00:11:32,482 You fucking talking to yourself, Terry. 283 00:11:32,551 --> 00:11:34,896 - Hey, Dad, your car's making a funny noise. 284 00:11:34,965 --> 00:11:36,793 - From the garage? - No, out on the street. 285 00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:38,068 I'm not sure if this is connected, 286 00:11:38,137 --> 00:11:39,896 but I did hit that curb pretty hard. 287 00:11:41,965 --> 00:11:43,931 Oh, and you're going to need a new tire. 288 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,034 - What? I just got new tires. - Oh, thank God. 289 00:11:46,103 --> 00:11:47,413 Then you'll know where to get one. 290 00:11:47,482 --> 00:11:48,586 - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 291 00:11:48,655 --> 00:11:49,758 Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. 292 00:11:49,827 --> 00:11:50,758 Who told you you could take my car? 293 00:11:50,827 --> 00:11:51,862 - Mama did. - She what? 294 00:11:51,931 --> 00:11:53,068 - Oh, hey, Dad. 295 00:11:53,137 --> 00:11:54,448 Don't forget, the scholarship rep 296 00:11:54,517 --> 00:11:55,827 is coming over Tuesday night. 297 00:11:55,896 --> 00:11:57,068 I'm just waiting for him to confirm. 298 00:11:57,137 --> 00:11:58,482 - Now, how I'm going to forget something 299 00:11:58,551 --> 00:12:00,724 I ain't even been told? - Mama didn't tell you? 300 00:12:00,793 --> 00:12:02,310 Well, she had me switch the dates 301 00:12:02,379 --> 00:12:04,103 because she said tonight was too soon. 302 00:12:04,172 --> 00:12:05,758 I thought y'all agreed on this. 303 00:12:05,827 --> 00:12:06,965 - OK, I get it. 304 00:12:07,034 --> 00:12:08,517 My suitcase, my car. 305 00:12:08,586 --> 00:12:10,103 You know, your mom is trying to teach me a little lesson. 306 00:12:10,172 --> 00:12:11,965 But you know what? I don't care. 307 00:12:12,034 --> 00:12:14,068 I ain't going to let her get up under my skin. 308 00:12:14,137 --> 00:12:17,379 [laughs] Doesn't even bother me none. 309 00:12:17,448 --> 00:12:20,379 [humming "Amazing Grace"] 310 00:12:20,448 --> 00:12:22,586 ♪ ♪ 311 00:12:22,655 --> 00:12:24,551 - Who's playing, Dad? 312 00:12:24,620 --> 00:12:27,103 - Is that my Wild Cherry Pepsi? 313 00:12:27,172 --> 00:12:29,793 - This was the last one. Mama said I could have it. 314 00:12:29,862 --> 00:12:31,655 - Boy, do you know how long it takes to find a store that 315 00:12:31,724 --> 00:12:32,931 carries Wild Cherry Pepsi? 316 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,310 I do, because I put in the work. 317 00:12:34,379 --> 00:12:35,896 I drive down to Bloomington, Indiana, 318 00:12:35,965 --> 00:12:38,620 on my day off. 319 00:12:38,689 --> 00:12:41,551 - How are you this upset about soda? 320 00:12:41,620 --> 00:12:43,827 - Ain't about no damn soda. 321 00:12:43,896 --> 00:12:46,310 Your mama just crossed the big, carbonated, 322 00:12:46,379 --> 00:12:48,275 cherry-flavored line. 323 00:12:48,344 --> 00:12:50,068 And you know what? 324 00:12:50,137 --> 00:12:52,896 - Dad, where are you going? 325 00:12:58,862 --> 00:13:00,551 - I'll be back. 326 00:13:06,793 --> 00:13:08,896 - I would have gave him some. 327 00:13:11,034 --> 00:13:13,413 - I don't know why that man so dramatic. 328 00:13:13,482 --> 00:13:16,310 Who in the fuck cares about a Wild Cherry Pepsi? 329 00:13:16,379 --> 00:13:19,241 It ain't like it was an AriZona Sweet Tea or some shit. 330 00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,379 - Where do you think he went? 331 00:13:22,448 --> 00:13:24,137 - I don't know, but he better be back, 332 00:13:24,206 --> 00:13:25,965 'cause you can't leave no Black woman. 333 00:13:26,034 --> 00:13:28,034 We will find you, kick down that door, 334 00:13:28,103 --> 00:13:31,620 and drag your runaway ass back to the house. 335 00:13:31,689 --> 00:13:34,206 I'll call a voodoo priest. 336 00:13:35,241 --> 00:13:37,413 - Don't you think you're being a little too hard on him? 337 00:13:37,482 --> 00:13:39,310 - Yeah, Mom, he got every right to be upset. 338 00:13:39,379 --> 00:13:41,586 Just like you got every right to be upset. 339 00:13:41,655 --> 00:13:43,034 - I thought you was on my team. 340 00:13:43,103 --> 00:13:44,827 - I'm not on anybody's team. 341 00:13:45,758 --> 00:13:48,344 OK, I'm on your team. 342 00:13:48,413 --> 00:13:49,793 Just don't do no voodoo. 343 00:13:51,551 --> 00:13:52,758 - What about you, Junebug? 344 00:13:52,827 --> 00:13:54,862 - Sorry, but I'm team Dad. 345 00:13:54,931 --> 00:13:56,103 - What the fuck? 346 00:13:56,172 --> 00:13:57,241 After the way he yelled at you today? 347 00:13:57,310 --> 00:13:59,896 - You yelling at me right now. 348 00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:04,793 And you hit me earlier. 349 00:14:04,862 --> 00:14:06,206 - You want a fresh one? 350 00:14:06,275 --> 00:14:09,000 - Well, I'm on Pat's side. 351 00:14:09,068 --> 00:14:11,551 You bunch of traitor-ass Judases. 352 00:14:12,862 --> 00:14:14,482 - See, now that's a good soldier. 353 00:14:14,551 --> 00:14:17,241 - So you want us to mindlessly do whatever you say? 354 00:14:17,310 --> 00:14:18,482 - Yeah, now you're getting it. 355 00:14:18,551 --> 00:14:20,586 [cellphone rings] 356 00:14:21,827 --> 00:14:23,379 - Hello? 357 00:14:25,862 --> 00:14:27,551 It's the scholarship rep. 358 00:14:27,620 --> 00:14:30,241 He says he's outside. 359 00:14:30,310 --> 00:14:33,034 Are you playing one of your little TikTok pranks? 360 00:14:33,103 --> 00:14:35,241 - Uh-uh, this is God pranking you. 361 00:14:38,068 --> 00:14:41,793 - OK, well, if this is really Mr. Scholarship, 362 00:14:41,862 --> 00:14:43,448 then why are you calling me on my phone 363 00:14:43,517 --> 00:14:44,965 when you could just ring the doorbell? 364 00:14:45,034 --> 00:14:46,379 [doorbell rings] - Oh, shit! 365 00:14:46,448 --> 00:14:47,896 I thought he was coming by Tuesday. 366 00:14:47,965 --> 00:14:50,862 - I thought I sent that email. 367 00:14:50,931 --> 00:14:53,068 Oh, my God, it's still in my drafts. 368 00:14:53,137 --> 00:14:55,827 Oh, God. No, no, no. 369 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,448 Oh, man, what am I going to do? 370 00:14:57,517 --> 00:15:00,103 I mean, my whole essay is about my loving family, 371 00:15:00,172 --> 00:15:02,655 and Dad isn't even here. 372 00:15:02,724 --> 00:15:04,896 - Told you you're not going to college. 373 00:15:05,965 --> 00:15:08,655 - Shut up before I take all the lotion out your bathroom. 374 00:15:11,103 --> 00:15:12,793 - Janelle, calm down. 375 00:15:12,862 --> 00:15:16,000 Look, your family's fucked up. 376 00:15:17,689 --> 00:15:20,379 It's just who we are, so we own it, OK? 377 00:15:20,448 --> 00:15:22,482 Hey, I'm going to buy some Chinese food and fix this. 378 00:15:22,551 --> 00:15:25,241 Either they like us or they don't. 379 00:15:25,310 --> 00:15:27,482 - Definitely not getting that scholarship. 380 00:15:30,896 --> 00:15:32,689 - OK. 381 00:15:32,758 --> 00:15:34,241 OK. I love you 382 00:15:34,310 --> 00:15:35,586 - The fuck you rubbing on me for? 383 00:15:35,655 --> 00:15:37,413 I dropped out of school. 384 00:15:43,034 --> 00:15:44,068 - Oh, God damn. 385 00:15:44,137 --> 00:15:46,000 That's a sexy-ass nerd. 386 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,758 He made me think about Superman. 387 00:15:50,827 --> 00:15:53,172 Like Dark Kent. 388 00:15:53,241 --> 00:15:54,620 - Hello, my name is Tyrese Porter. 389 00:15:54,689 --> 00:15:56,206 I'm from the Harriet Tubman Education Group 390 00:15:56,275 --> 00:15:58,551 scholarship office. - Hi, I'm Janelle. 391 00:15:58,620 --> 00:16:00,517 And this is my mom. 392 00:16:00,586 --> 00:16:02,827 - Hi, I'm Pat. - Oh, pleasure. 393 00:16:02,896 --> 00:16:04,310 And this must be Terry. 394 00:16:04,379 --> 00:16:06,758 Janelle said so many wonderful things about her parents. 395 00:16:06,827 --> 00:16:08,206 - Um-- 396 00:16:08,275 --> 00:16:10,241 - You know, this is exactly the Black diversity 397 00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:11,862 we're looking for. 398 00:16:11,931 --> 00:16:13,724 [interposing voices] 399 00:16:13,793 --> 00:16:16,620 - Yeah, that's right. 400 00:16:16,689 --> 00:16:18,724 Black diversity. 401 00:16:20,137 --> 00:16:21,620 - What the hell? 402 00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:24,034 - This woman right here is my soul mate. 403 00:16:25,655 --> 00:16:27,724 My spoonful of sugar. 404 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,413 The old ball and chain. 405 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:36,344 And she the ball. - Mm. 406 00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:40,517 Well, it's great to meet you both. [chuckles] 407 00:16:40,586 --> 00:16:41,793 - Mom. 408 00:16:41,862 --> 00:16:43,551 BOTH: Yes? 409 00:16:44,965 --> 00:16:46,241 - [laughs] 410 00:16:46,310 --> 00:16:48,517 - It's nice to meet you, Mr. Porter. 411 00:16:48,586 --> 00:16:50,931 Don't get no ideas about my wife. 412 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,586 She eats pussy. 413 00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:56,068 - [clears throat] 414 00:17:00,206 --> 00:17:01,862 - I'm not just the L. 415 00:17:01,931 --> 00:17:04,586 You know, I'm an LG-"B"-TQ. 416 00:17:04,655 --> 00:17:06,000 - OK, I see. 417 00:17:06,068 --> 00:17:09,413 - Yeah, remember the B is for bisexual. 418 00:17:09,482 --> 00:17:13,482 Or as I like to call it, be patient, OK? 419 00:17:15,965 --> 00:17:17,517 - Hey, princess. 420 00:17:17,586 --> 00:17:19,000 - Hey, Daddy, what you doing here? 421 00:17:19,068 --> 00:17:22,655 - I just thought you might need some help moving in. 422 00:17:22,724 --> 00:17:23,896 - You're so thoughtful. 423 00:17:23,965 --> 00:17:25,172 I could use some help, actually. 424 00:17:25,241 --> 00:17:26,413 You can grab that box right there. 425 00:17:26,482 --> 00:17:29,206 - Your mama's really pissing me off. 426 00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:31,896 - Oh, you ain't here to help at all, huh? 427 00:17:31,965 --> 00:17:33,586 - Before, you know, she was just giving me 428 00:17:33,655 --> 00:17:35,620 the silent treatment, which, to be honest, 429 00:17:35,689 --> 00:17:37,379 was kind of a nice break. 430 00:17:37,448 --> 00:17:39,103 But now she's just being cruel. 431 00:17:39,172 --> 00:17:41,241 - Wow, that's crazy. 432 00:17:42,724 --> 00:17:45,000 - And you know what else bothers me? 433 00:17:45,068 --> 00:17:47,620 I thought we were a team, that we were in this together. 434 00:17:47,689 --> 00:17:50,068 But now she just goes off and makes 435 00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:51,965 every decision without me. 436 00:17:52,034 --> 00:17:53,344 - Wow, that's crazy. 437 00:17:53,413 --> 00:17:55,068 So you not even going to open that one box? 438 00:17:55,137 --> 00:17:56,586 - She just always... [glass shatters] 439 00:17:56,655 --> 00:17:58,793 making me feel like I'm invisible, 440 00:17:58,862 --> 00:18:00,758 like I ain't got no say so in this marriage 441 00:18:00,827 --> 00:18:02,310 or this family. 442 00:18:02,379 --> 00:18:03,896 - Have you tried telling her that? 443 00:18:03,965 --> 00:18:06,172 - Of course I tried. 444 00:18:06,241 --> 00:18:07,448 I blocked her. 445 00:18:07,517 --> 00:18:08,620 Oh. 446 00:18:08,689 --> 00:18:10,413 I know she was trying to call me. 447 00:18:10,482 --> 00:18:13,034 - How are you telling her this if y'all not even talking? 448 00:18:13,103 --> 00:18:14,482 You're both being mad immature 449 00:18:14,551 --> 00:18:15,965 and making everyone take sides. 450 00:18:16,034 --> 00:18:18,241 - Who's not on my side? 451 00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:20,689 I see your point. 452 00:18:20,758 --> 00:18:22,068 - You love Mama. 453 00:18:22,137 --> 00:18:23,586 She loves you. 454 00:18:23,655 --> 00:18:25,482 Maybe it's time to do the work to get beyond this 455 00:18:25,551 --> 00:18:28,000 and focus on everything you have together. 456 00:18:28,068 --> 00:18:29,206 Talk. 457 00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:30,413 - She won't talk to me. 458 00:18:30,482 --> 00:18:32,482 - Daddy. - What? 459 00:18:32,551 --> 00:18:34,482 You can't outrun a storm while holding lightning 460 00:18:34,551 --> 00:18:36,655 in the palm of your hand. 461 00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:38,206 Release it. 462 00:18:38,275 --> 00:18:39,724 Talk. 463 00:18:42,068 --> 00:18:43,931 - Maybe you're right, baby. 464 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,931 Thanks. 465 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,275 I'm going to go home and try to talk to her. 466 00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:51,172 You're welcome to come with. 467 00:18:51,241 --> 00:18:53,137 - You're welcoming me to come, or are you telling me to come? 468 00:18:53,206 --> 00:18:54,586 - Mm-hmm. 469 00:18:54,655 --> 00:18:56,137 - OK, fine. 470 00:18:56,206 --> 00:18:58,000 - Lord knows we can use a therapist. 471 00:18:58,068 --> 00:19:00,448 - I know. I lived there. 472 00:19:00,517 --> 00:19:02,482 - So tell me, how did you two meet? 473 00:19:02,551 --> 00:19:04,344 - Oh, I'm glad you asked. 474 00:19:04,413 --> 00:19:05,724 It's a really great story. 475 00:19:05,793 --> 00:19:07,000 - No, it ain't. 476 00:19:07,068 --> 00:19:09,551 - She's so shy. Let me tell it, baby. 477 00:19:09,620 --> 00:19:12,172 - Yeah, I would love to hear your version. 478 00:19:12,241 --> 00:19:15,000 - OK, well, we were on opposing teams 479 00:19:15,068 --> 00:19:16,551 on our softball league. 480 00:19:16,620 --> 00:19:20,241 Yeah, and I hit a line drive straight into the gap. 481 00:19:20,310 --> 00:19:22,000 No pun intended. 482 00:19:22,068 --> 00:19:24,000 [laughter] 483 00:19:24,068 --> 00:19:27,379 And then I rounded third base, and who was standing there 484 00:19:27,448 --> 00:19:31,103 but big, old Pat blocking the plate. 485 00:19:31,172 --> 00:19:33,206 So I had to do what I had to do. 486 00:19:33,275 --> 00:19:34,655 - I see. 487 00:19:34,724 --> 00:19:37,827 - So we ended up on top of each other. Yup. 488 00:19:37,896 --> 00:19:41,689 My ass in the air, and her face in the dirt. 489 00:19:41,758 --> 00:19:44,586 And we've been like that all these years. 490 00:19:46,965 --> 00:19:48,344 - Beautiful story. 491 00:19:48,413 --> 00:19:50,000 - Yeah, you remember that day, Pat? 492 00:19:50,068 --> 00:19:51,344 - Yeah. 493 00:19:51,413 --> 00:19:53,310 And from that day forward, every time 494 00:19:53,379 --> 00:19:56,310 her ass was in the air, I'd rather eat dirt. 495 00:19:57,310 --> 00:19:58,724 - Hey. 496 00:19:58,793 --> 00:20:00,517 How come y'all ain't tell me dinner was happening? 497 00:20:00,586 --> 00:20:03,034 Why y'all holding hands? 498 00:20:03,103 --> 00:20:04,482 - This is my son Brandon. 499 00:20:04,551 --> 00:20:06,103 He's opposite of Janelle. 500 00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:08,344 He's a loser. - [chuckles] 501 00:20:08,413 --> 00:20:10,620 - Janelle, what's going on? 502 00:20:10,689 --> 00:20:12,862 [laughs] What? 503 00:20:14,448 --> 00:20:17,689 - My God, you two must have been babies when you had him. 504 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:19,965 - Oh, no, he's from an old relationship 505 00:20:20,034 --> 00:20:22,241 back when I used to like dick. 506 00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:26,620 - [chuckles] Yeah, I just love my two mothers. 507 00:20:26,689 --> 00:20:29,413 All these years and they're still as affectionate as ever. 508 00:20:29,482 --> 00:20:30,586 Come on, guys. 509 00:20:30,655 --> 00:20:32,241 Show him how you be kissing. 510 00:20:32,310 --> 00:20:34,275 - Kiss my ass! 511 00:20:34,344 --> 00:20:35,965 - Mama. 512 00:20:36,034 --> 00:20:37,827 - OK, um, 513 00:20:37,896 --> 00:20:41,551 you have a very explicit way with words, Pat. 514 00:20:41,620 --> 00:20:43,896 Shocking, but amusing. 515 00:20:43,965 --> 00:20:46,896 - Yeah, I scooped Pat up out the dumpster, 516 00:20:46,965 --> 00:20:48,965 and then cleaned that ass up. 517 00:20:49,034 --> 00:20:51,000 [both chuckle] 518 00:20:51,068 --> 00:20:52,241 But you know the old saying, 519 00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:54,724 you can't take the street out the girl. 520 00:20:54,793 --> 00:20:57,206 - I'm going to meet you in the street after this. 521 00:20:57,275 --> 00:21:00,344 - OK, OK, I don't think Mr. Porter wants to hear that. 522 00:21:00,413 --> 00:21:02,586 - Oh, Janelle, you're still here? 523 00:21:02,655 --> 00:21:05,068 - Yes, let's focus on our star student. 524 00:21:05,137 --> 00:21:08,655 Janelle, your application says you have a perfect GPA. 525 00:21:08,724 --> 00:21:10,310 - Mm-hmm. - That's outstanding. 526 00:21:10,379 --> 00:21:12,034 Any extracurricular activities? 527 00:21:12,103 --> 00:21:14,689 - Oh, well, if extracurricular means being extra, 528 00:21:14,758 --> 00:21:17,965 then, yeah, she's got those. 529 00:21:18,034 --> 00:21:20,827 - Actually, I'm on the debate team. 530 00:21:20,896 --> 00:21:23,275 I participate in student government. 531 00:21:23,344 --> 00:21:25,620 And I volunteer at the library. 532 00:21:25,689 --> 00:21:28,724 - The library never needed no volunteers. 533 00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:32,413 - An impressive resume. 534 00:21:32,482 --> 00:21:34,724 I'm sure any institution of higher learning 535 00:21:34,793 --> 00:21:36,620 would be proud to have you matriculate. 536 00:21:36,689 --> 00:21:39,655 - Oh, my God, I love the way that you talk. 537 00:21:41,310 --> 00:21:43,655 With all those nouns and verbs 538 00:21:43,724 --> 00:21:48,137 and, you know, the stuff you said about urinating. 539 00:21:48,206 --> 00:21:49,655 - [laughs] 540 00:21:49,724 --> 00:21:51,620 - Baby! 541 00:21:51,689 --> 00:21:53,758 You know we got things to do tonight. 542 00:21:53,827 --> 00:21:57,310 We going to the WNBA game and shop for some Subarus. 543 00:21:58,517 --> 00:21:59,689 - Hey, everybody. 544 00:21:59,758 --> 00:22:02,103 - And this is my daughter, Ashley. 545 00:22:02,172 --> 00:22:05,620 - Yes, Ashley is also of the lesbian persuasion. 546 00:22:05,689 --> 00:22:07,172 - What do you mean also? 547 00:22:07,241 --> 00:22:08,551 - Me and Denise is gay. 548 00:22:11,448 --> 00:22:13,827 - [laughs] 549 00:22:13,896 --> 00:22:14,896 Perfect. 550 00:22:20,655 --> 00:22:22,206 - What's all of this? 551 00:22:22,275 --> 00:22:23,448 - Terry. 552 00:22:26,482 --> 00:22:27,965 - Uh, I thought you were Terry. 553 00:22:28,034 --> 00:22:29,379 - I am Terry. 554 00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:32,379 With an I. 555 00:22:32,448 --> 00:22:34,482 Stop playing, Denise. 556 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,689 - Why are you calling me Denise? 557 00:22:39,758 --> 00:22:42,206 - Well, Denny is short for Denise, 558 00:22:42,275 --> 00:22:43,965 because that's a guy's name too. 559 00:22:44,034 --> 00:22:45,965 Yeah, that's our cousin. 560 00:22:46,034 --> 00:22:49,793 Denny, this is Mr. Porter, the scholarship rep, remember? 561 00:22:49,862 --> 00:22:51,620 - Oh, that's funny, because I was told 562 00:22:51,689 --> 00:22:53,758 it was on a different night. 563 00:22:53,827 --> 00:22:55,206 Can I speak to you for a second, Pat? 564 00:22:55,275 --> 00:22:57,413 - Mm-mm. 565 00:22:57,482 --> 00:22:59,000 - Pat. - Mom. 566 00:23:04,551 --> 00:23:06,310 - Hey, baby, I come in peace. 567 00:23:06,379 --> 00:23:07,689 All right? 568 00:23:07,758 --> 00:23:09,034 I was talking to Ashley on the ride over, 569 00:23:09,103 --> 00:23:10,689 and I'm ready to talk. 570 00:23:10,758 --> 00:23:12,344 - Don't you see all the shit going on? 571 00:23:12,413 --> 00:23:13,758 - Um, should I go? 572 00:23:13,827 --> 00:23:14,620 - No. 573 00:23:14,689 --> 00:23:16,689 - Oh, OK. [chuckles] 574 00:23:16,758 --> 00:23:19,413 - Now go on back to your little hotel room, Terry. 575 00:23:19,482 --> 00:23:22,137 - I'm Denise, remember? 576 00:23:22,206 --> 00:23:23,896 So once again, you-- 577 00:23:23,965 --> 00:23:25,724 you ain't gonna even consider your husband's feelings. 578 00:23:25,793 --> 00:23:27,379 - OK, Denise, I asked you nicely. 579 00:23:27,448 --> 00:23:29,103 Stay out of my marriage. 580 00:23:34,517 --> 00:23:36,724 - I did consider your feelings, but at the end of the day, 581 00:23:36,793 --> 00:23:38,068 I had to listen to the right one. 582 00:23:38,137 --> 00:23:39,517 Mine. 583 00:23:39,586 --> 00:23:40,620 - You always listen to yourself and no one else, 584 00:23:40,689 --> 00:23:41,827 and that's the problem. 585 00:23:41,896 --> 00:23:43,379 - You're the fucking problem! 586 00:23:43,448 --> 00:23:44,724 - You want to say that again! 587 00:23:44,793 --> 00:23:47,000 - Oh, no, I definitely should go. 588 00:23:47,068 --> 00:23:48,862 - Yeah, so should I. 589 00:23:50,172 --> 00:23:51,758 - Wait, baby, I-- 590 00:23:53,034 --> 00:23:54,862 - Damn, Pat. 591 00:23:54,931 --> 00:23:57,862 You cheating on me with this bald bitch. 592 00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:04,172 - Mr. Porter. 593 00:24:04,241 --> 00:24:05,793 Can I call you Tyrese? 594 00:24:05,862 --> 00:24:07,103 - No. 595 00:24:07,172 --> 00:24:08,724 - Oh, classic Tyrese. 596 00:24:08,793 --> 00:24:10,206 [laughs] 597 00:24:10,275 --> 00:24:13,206 Listen, can you please give Janelle another chance? 598 00:24:13,275 --> 00:24:15,413 - I don't think there's anything more to see here. 599 00:24:15,482 --> 00:24:16,827 - Well, I mean, are you sure? 600 00:24:16,896 --> 00:24:18,344 After all, I ain't married to Pat no more. 601 00:24:18,413 --> 00:24:19,724 - [chuckles] You never were. 602 00:24:19,793 --> 00:24:21,172 - OK, well, hold up. Hold up. 603 00:24:21,241 --> 00:24:23,931 OK, this is all my fault. I take all the blame. 604 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,689 But I just think that Janelle is an amazing kid, 605 00:24:26,758 --> 00:24:28,586 and she really deserves another chance. 606 00:24:28,655 --> 00:24:30,137 - Yes, she is amazing, 607 00:24:30,206 --> 00:24:32,586 but there are a lot of other deserving students out there 608 00:24:32,655 --> 00:24:34,448 with families who won't pretend to be queer 609 00:24:34,517 --> 00:24:36,241 to be more interesting. 610 00:24:36,310 --> 00:24:38,172 - Ooh. 611 00:24:38,241 --> 00:24:40,896 Are you sure... 612 00:24:42,517 --> 00:24:44,413 That there's not something 613 00:24:44,482 --> 00:24:46,517 or someone worth staying for? 614 00:24:46,586 --> 00:24:48,172 - [chuckles] 615 00:24:48,241 --> 00:24:49,586 Are you bribing me? 616 00:24:49,655 --> 00:24:52,206 - No, I ain't bribing you. 617 00:24:52,275 --> 00:24:54,517 I'm vibing. 618 00:24:54,586 --> 00:24:56,448 You know, this is a Black scholarship. 619 00:24:56,517 --> 00:24:57,620 That's what Black folks do. 620 00:24:57,689 --> 00:24:59,517 We vibe. [laughs] 621 00:24:59,586 --> 00:25:02,000 Niggas died for the vibe. 622 00:25:03,793 --> 00:25:06,206 - Well, there was someone in this house 623 00:25:06,275 --> 00:25:07,620 I found attractive. 624 00:25:07,689 --> 00:25:10,379 - Okay. [chuckles] 625 00:25:10,448 --> 00:25:12,965 - Not you. - Oh. 626 00:25:13,034 --> 00:25:15,586 OK, well, they better not be Janelle, because I will gladly 627 00:25:15,655 --> 00:25:17,275 rip out your ribs and have my ass 628 00:25:17,344 --> 00:25:20,655 a bloody backyard barbecue in this bitch. 629 00:25:20,724 --> 00:25:24,724 - No, I was actually speaking about Brandon. 630 00:25:24,793 --> 00:25:26,310 [clears throat] 631 00:25:26,379 --> 00:25:28,344 - Oh, OK. 632 00:25:28,413 --> 00:25:29,586 So you are-- 633 00:25:29,655 --> 00:25:31,965 - Uh, gay. Yes. 634 00:25:34,793 --> 00:25:37,000 - Praise God. 635 00:25:37,068 --> 00:25:41,068 Oh, Jesus, I thought I was losing my touch. 636 00:25:41,137 --> 00:25:42,896 Ooh. 637 00:25:42,965 --> 00:25:45,206 OK, so if that's what you like, 638 00:25:45,275 --> 00:25:47,586 we definitely can make that happen. 639 00:25:47,655 --> 00:25:50,586 Now, did you know that he was a stripper? 640 00:25:50,655 --> 00:25:52,586 So if you come on back inside, 641 00:25:52,655 --> 00:25:55,172 I can get you in his champagne room. 642 00:25:56,724 --> 00:25:58,689 - You're not helping. 643 00:26:00,793 --> 00:26:03,344 - Oh, great, Roe and Wade are here. 644 00:26:06,413 --> 00:26:07,896 - What you doing up here, baby? 645 00:26:07,965 --> 00:26:10,103 - I'm just looking at my application essay, 646 00:26:10,172 --> 00:26:12,413 which, after that display downstairs, 647 00:26:12,482 --> 00:26:14,344 appears like a complete lie. 648 00:26:16,896 --> 00:26:19,620 - Janelle, we're sorry. - It's too late. 649 00:26:19,689 --> 00:26:22,206 I mean, you two really blew this for me. 650 00:26:22,275 --> 00:26:24,655 You couldn't pretend to be civil for five minutes. 651 00:26:24,724 --> 00:26:26,241 - Hey, hey now. 652 00:26:26,310 --> 00:26:27,448 Let us fix it, baby. 653 00:26:27,517 --> 00:26:29,413 - It's too late to fix it. 654 00:26:29,482 --> 00:26:31,172 He's gone. 655 00:26:31,241 --> 00:26:32,620 - No, he's not. 656 00:26:32,689 --> 00:26:34,620 I told Denise don't let him leave. 657 00:26:34,689 --> 00:26:36,379 - Aunt Denise? 658 00:26:36,448 --> 00:26:38,965 Let me get down there. 659 00:26:39,034 --> 00:26:43,241 You know, why don't you just let Brandon take my SAT next? 660 00:26:54,206 --> 00:26:55,379 - Mm. 661 00:26:55,448 --> 00:26:56,965 - What? 662 00:26:59,862 --> 00:27:03,206 - "All of my friends complain about their parents. 663 00:27:03,275 --> 00:27:04,689 "Not me. 664 00:27:04,758 --> 00:27:06,758 "Never me. 665 00:27:06,827 --> 00:27:09,310 "This world is full of choppy waters, 666 00:27:09,379 --> 00:27:12,689 "but they always have been my lighthouse. 667 00:27:12,758 --> 00:27:15,758 Casting out darkness and--" 668 00:27:15,827 --> 00:27:17,413 - "Illuminating." 669 00:27:17,482 --> 00:27:20,896 - "Illuminating my path with bright, unconditional love. 670 00:27:20,965 --> 00:27:24,000 Love for me, but also"-- 671 00:27:28,551 --> 00:27:31,000 - "Love for each other." 672 00:27:33,103 --> 00:27:34,172 - Wow. 673 00:27:34,241 --> 00:27:37,275 - Pat, Terry, come on down here! 674 00:27:44,965 --> 00:27:47,103 - Thank you so much for coming back. 675 00:27:47,172 --> 00:27:49,655 - Well, Denise was very persuasive. 676 00:27:49,724 --> 00:27:52,000 - Wow, Auntie, what you say? 677 00:27:52,068 --> 00:27:53,379 - Don't worry about it. 678 00:27:53,448 --> 00:27:55,862 Just keep your mouth shut and stay pretty. 679 00:28:00,275 --> 00:28:03,172 - Mr. Porter, I just want to say I'm sorry that 680 00:28:03,241 --> 00:28:07,000 we all lied to you and for everything that was said 681 00:28:07,068 --> 00:28:10,172 and done since you walked through the door. 682 00:28:10,241 --> 00:28:13,103 - Just so we're clear, you're Pat, 683 00:28:13,172 --> 00:28:15,000 and you're the real Terry? 684 00:28:15,068 --> 00:28:16,724 - And I'm the real gay. 685 00:28:16,793 --> 00:28:18,827 Hey. 686 00:28:18,896 --> 00:28:21,379 - Pat and I had a misunderstanding that 687 00:28:21,448 --> 00:28:24,379 led to all this drama tonight, and this had nothing 688 00:28:24,448 --> 00:28:25,724 to do with Janelle. 689 00:28:25,793 --> 00:28:27,344 We take full responsibility. 690 00:28:27,413 --> 00:28:29,517 - I don't know if you married, Mr. Porter, 691 00:28:29,586 --> 00:28:31,310 but this shit is hard. 692 00:28:31,379 --> 00:28:34,000 - You mean, "stuff", Mama. This stuff is hard. 693 00:28:34,068 --> 00:28:37,758 - No, I have been married and, yes, this shit is hard. 694 00:28:38,965 --> 00:28:40,862 - Regardless, this is our family 695 00:28:40,931 --> 00:28:42,448 through the good and the bad. 696 00:28:42,517 --> 00:28:46,896 It's messy, but in the end, we always make it work. 697 00:28:48,137 --> 00:28:49,620 - That's the kind of example we want 698 00:28:49,689 --> 00:28:51,172 to try to show our children. 699 00:28:51,241 --> 00:28:54,000 - And if you want to find another student 700 00:28:54,068 --> 00:28:57,482 with a more conventional family, 701 00:28:57,551 --> 00:28:59,206 I understand. 702 00:28:59,275 --> 00:29:03,068 - Well, I'll admit I was a bit taken aback 703 00:29:03,137 --> 00:29:07,241 by the lying and the yelling and the pimping. [laughs] 704 00:29:07,310 --> 00:29:08,689 - Pimping? 705 00:29:08,758 --> 00:29:10,448 - Say what? 706 00:29:10,517 --> 00:29:11,793 - [chuckles] 707 00:29:13,758 --> 00:29:16,310 The love you folks have for each other, it really-- 708 00:29:16,379 --> 00:29:17,655 it shines through. 709 00:29:17,724 --> 00:29:20,344 And I say anyone who can survive this family 710 00:29:20,413 --> 00:29:24,620 and make it to college deserves some financial assistance. 711 00:29:24,689 --> 00:29:27,034 Janelle, I think you make a perfect candidate 712 00:29:27,103 --> 00:29:29,827 for the Harriet Tubman Education Group scholarship. 713 00:29:29,896 --> 00:29:31,517 - Are you serious? 714 00:29:33,931 --> 00:29:35,413 I get a Tubman? 715 00:29:35,482 --> 00:29:37,413 - Congrats, baby girl. 716 00:29:37,482 --> 00:29:38,758 - I'm so proud of you. 717 00:29:38,827 --> 00:29:41,379 - Yeah, congrats. 718 00:29:41,448 --> 00:29:44,206 - OK, why have you been a jerk the last couple of days? 719 00:29:44,275 --> 00:29:46,551 - He'll never admit it, but I know why. 720 00:29:46,620 --> 00:29:48,413 He's going to miss you. 721 00:29:48,482 --> 00:29:50,172 - Aww. 722 00:29:50,241 --> 00:29:53,206 You gonna miss me, Coonbug? 723 00:29:53,275 --> 00:29:56,206 - Oh, please, get over yourself. 724 00:29:56,275 --> 00:29:57,896 - I'm going to miss you too. 725 00:29:57,965 --> 00:30:01,275 And don't worry, I have a whole nother year to terrorize you. 726 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:05,206 - Oh, man, this is so cool. 727 00:30:05,275 --> 00:30:07,827 You get to go to an underground school. 728 00:30:09,413 --> 00:30:11,448 Sojourner Truth would be so proud. 729 00:30:14,448 --> 00:30:16,551 - Listen, Andy, I know I'm supposed 730 00:30:16,620 --> 00:30:18,379 to start the tour on Monday, 731 00:30:18,448 --> 00:30:20,206 but I'm going to just be honest with you. 732 00:30:20,275 --> 00:30:23,275 Child, my marriage is in worse condition than your liver. 733 00:30:24,793 --> 00:30:26,034 And I need to talk to Terry 734 00:30:26,103 --> 00:30:28,000 to get us back on the same page. 735 00:30:28,068 --> 00:30:29,310 We need to decide together 736 00:30:29,379 --> 00:30:30,620 if this tour is happening or not. 737 00:30:30,689 --> 00:30:32,413 - [clears throat] 738 00:30:32,482 --> 00:30:33,758 - OK. 739 00:30:33,827 --> 00:30:35,655 Thank you. I'll call you later. 740 00:30:35,724 --> 00:30:37,172 Bye-bye. 741 00:30:37,241 --> 00:30:38,689 - Hey. 742 00:30:38,758 --> 00:30:40,241 - Hey. 743 00:30:40,310 --> 00:30:42,586 Is the scholarship man still downstairs? 744 00:30:42,655 --> 00:30:46,241 - Yeah, yeah, Denise took him down to the basement 745 00:30:46,310 --> 00:30:48,000 for some reason. 746 00:30:51,482 --> 00:30:52,620 - Why you in my room? 747 00:30:52,689 --> 00:30:54,482 - This is my room. 748 00:30:55,965 --> 00:30:57,482 It's our room. 749 00:30:57,551 --> 00:30:59,448 - It was until you left me. 750 00:30:59,517 --> 00:31:01,103 - I'm here now. 751 00:31:02,517 --> 00:31:04,034 - You left me, Terry. 752 00:31:04,103 --> 00:31:05,862 You yelled at me and you grabbed me 753 00:31:05,931 --> 00:31:07,448 and you left me. 754 00:31:07,517 --> 00:31:09,896 People have been leaving me my whole life. 755 00:31:09,965 --> 00:31:11,206 I never would have thought that you 756 00:31:11,275 --> 00:31:12,517 would have walked out on me. 757 00:31:12,586 --> 00:31:14,344 - I'm sorry, Pat. 758 00:31:14,413 --> 00:31:16,965 Baby, I just needed to breathe for a second. 759 00:31:17,034 --> 00:31:18,896 - We breathe together, Terry. 760 00:31:18,965 --> 00:31:20,758 Hell, we always breathe together. 761 00:31:20,827 --> 00:31:22,206 - I know. 762 00:31:22,275 --> 00:31:24,379 I just... 763 00:31:24,448 --> 00:31:26,137 turned into my daddy for a second, 764 00:31:26,206 --> 00:31:29,206 and, um, that's the scariest thing 765 00:31:29,275 --> 00:31:32,137 I've ever felt in my life. 766 00:31:32,206 --> 00:31:34,241 I was in a whole lot of pain, baby. 767 00:31:34,310 --> 00:31:35,827 - What about me, Terry? 768 00:31:35,896 --> 00:31:37,413 I was hurting, too. 769 00:31:37,482 --> 00:31:41,448 - I will never make you feel that way again. 770 00:31:41,517 --> 00:31:44,310 I'll do my work if you do yours, all right? 771 00:31:44,379 --> 00:31:48,758 And as far as I can see, you already are. 772 00:31:48,827 --> 00:31:50,310 - What you mean? 773 00:31:50,379 --> 00:31:52,379 - What you just said on the phone right now, 774 00:31:52,448 --> 00:31:56,103 that's exactly what I needed to hear, 775 00:31:56,172 --> 00:31:58,068 that we're a team. 776 00:31:58,137 --> 00:31:59,482 - We supposed to be a team, Terry, 777 00:31:59,551 --> 00:32:02,655 and we should make every decision together. 778 00:32:02,724 --> 00:32:05,551 But that doesn't mean we always gonna agree. 779 00:32:05,620 --> 00:32:07,000 - You right, baby. 780 00:32:07,068 --> 00:32:09,206 - You know, when it come to my body, 781 00:32:09,275 --> 00:32:11,413 I want to hear your opinion, because you've been making 782 00:32:11,482 --> 00:32:13,758 my body feel good for decades. 783 00:32:13,827 --> 00:32:15,551 - True, true, true, true. 784 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:20,551 - But the final decision about my body lies with me. 785 00:32:20,620 --> 00:32:23,034 - That's fair. 786 00:32:23,103 --> 00:32:26,206 - So what do you think about the comedy tour? 787 00:32:26,275 --> 00:32:29,137 - Ah, well, it feels good to be asked. 788 00:32:30,551 --> 00:32:34,000 You really do care about what I think, don't you? 789 00:32:34,068 --> 00:32:35,724 - No, but I'm learning. 790 00:32:35,793 --> 00:32:37,620 - [laughs] 791 00:32:39,241 --> 00:32:41,827 I fell in love with you 792 00:32:41,896 --> 00:32:45,379 because you're such a strong, independent woman, 793 00:32:45,448 --> 00:32:49,068 and I promise that I will never let that 794 00:32:49,137 --> 00:32:51,172 threaten me again, OK? 795 00:32:52,586 --> 00:32:54,000 - I love you, baby. 796 00:32:54,068 --> 00:32:55,965 - I love you, too, baby. 797 00:32:56,034 --> 00:32:57,551 Forever. 798 00:32:58,931 --> 00:33:00,896 - Forever-ever? 799 00:33:00,965 --> 00:33:02,724 - Forever-ever. 800 00:33:02,793 --> 00:33:05,241 And if you really want to know my opinion 801 00:33:05,310 --> 00:33:07,379 about you going out on tour 802 00:33:07,448 --> 00:33:09,034 and leaving the whole family behind-- 803 00:33:09,103 --> 00:33:11,551 - There go that bullshit. 804 00:33:11,620 --> 00:33:16,000 - My opinion is I'll be pissed if you don't go. 805 00:33:18,620 --> 00:33:20,724 I'm behind you 100%. 806 00:33:22,068 --> 00:33:23,344 - We good? 807 00:33:23,413 --> 00:33:25,517 - If you back to liking men, we good. 808 00:33:30,758 --> 00:33:33,931 - Now, you know that was my damn sister. 809 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:35,482 - Come here. 810 00:33:37,655 --> 00:33:38,724 Yeah. 811 00:33:38,793 --> 00:33:40,344 Mm-hmm. 812 00:33:45,793 --> 00:33:47,000 Shh. 813 00:33:47,068 --> 00:33:48,827 - Flag on the play. 814 00:33:48,896 --> 00:33:50,241 We just dodged a bullet. 815 00:33:50,310 --> 00:33:52,241 You want to jump back out in front of a gun? 816 00:33:52,310 --> 00:33:53,551 - All right, baby. Come here. 817 00:33:53,620 --> 00:33:54,896 Come here. 818 00:33:54,965 --> 00:33:56,551 Love you. 819 00:33:59,655 --> 00:34:02,620 [indistinct speech] 820 00:34:06,965 --> 00:34:08,103 [funky music] 821 00:34:08,172 --> 00:34:10,241 - ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪ 822 00:34:10,310 --> 00:34:12,310 ♪ And she don't take no stuff ♪ 823 00:34:12,379 --> 00:34:16,793 ♪ She's a grown-ass woman, and you can't get enough ♪ 824 00:34:16,862 --> 00:34:21,034 ♪ She's a grown-ass woman with family and kids ♪ 825 00:34:21,103 --> 00:34:23,931 ♪ She's a grown-ass woman ♪ 826 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:29,793 ♪ And it's "The Ms. Pat Show" ♪